Who invited you to reside within my mind, body and soul?
It is that time again to put on my counterfeit smile while harboring the disdain of the emptiness that is taking over again.
It’s not about if it’s going to take control but just a matter of when.
The numbing emptiness floats over my consciousness like a dark cloud about to rain down tears of pain. And once the storm erupts, I am not the same.
I could be found crying while sitting on the floor and trying to decide to get up and bust through the door
I don’t want to fight this fight anymore!! But I don’t want to be seen as weak or out of control.
There are the days I feel insecure and worthless and I don’t want to pretend that everything is ok.
These are the days I just want to hide and not be seen because it all seems so pointless and hard to relay.
I work so hard at fighting these feelings but it Is like I am fighting a demon that lives within.
It is a never-ending cycle that creeps up again and again.
An uninvited guest has entered my world and his name is depression.
I want to hide and escape from him but he consumes my mind, body and soul without discretion.
Sometimes I just want to surrender and give into the demon.
But I often feel like it is all an illusion and I am dreaming.
But I know I have a promise that Jesus died for my freedom.
I hold onto that because I know that one day I will reside in His Kingdom.